MFT: Esquire "Daily Affirmation from a Beautiful Woman"

Watch this video. Watch it closely. Think for a moment what it is. It depicts some attractive lady saying to the camera "You're a sexy man". No set-up, no explanation, not even wink-wink. Just a single phrase delivered in a blandest way possible. It is must be motivating. But it is not. Why? Dunno. Apparently, it must be, because if else, why bother? But it is not? Then what it is?

Let's take a step back.

I've been surfing through Esquire Magazine's YouTube Channel and here's what my impression - it is like Buzzfeed by Filthy Frank. It manages to mix all sorts of things in one big polished piece of truly glorious YouTube Poop. This is not a joke. Their channel is extremely bizarre in its tenacious blandness. There all sorts of things - stupid how-to's, really creepy series "Women We Love" which is all about objectification of female body (good job, y`all), some out of context bullshit, guest vlogs, Brian Cox pronouncing names of various types of scotch, Patrick Stewart saying italian words. And then there is this.

Medium shot of attractive women who announces a quick staring contest and then, a moment later, congratulates the viewers and applauds to his "staring skills". What is it? Why it exists?


These videos are part of "Daily Affirmation from a Beautiful Woman". It is a series of motivational videos produced by Esquire Magazine in 2012. It is very simple - in each episode eponymous Beautiful Woman says something really "nice" to encourage the viewer who must be a stereotypical male "man's man (meh)" because otherwise it is utter nonsense. She says something that can be considered as an "affirmation" by masterminds of chick flicks. It is very cliched. In fact - it is riddled with every conceivable cliche about attractive women and motivational speeches. It is grey.

It is so cliched you start to think there must be a dig somewhere. Because it can't be straight. But it is and that is the weirdest part of the series. Someone really thought it will work out. Because people usually dig such stuff. But it kinda failed. And then it managed to overcome itself and transform into a piece of conceptual art in my mind. Because what else it can be?



I have no idea how this stupid series managed to attract so much of my attention. Maybe because i have too much free time. Or because i have nothing else to do. Look at it. "You're a man" - what is this? Should reenact the end scene of "Boogie Nights" after hearing that?



As motivational series "Daily Affirmation from a Beautiful Woman" is extremely inappropriate. It manages to miss the mark so much the shell flies all the way into the outer space where it pointlessly hangs out waiting for someone to hum "When you wish upon a star". As Dwayne Johnson once said "if i miss - the wind behind my punch will give you pneumonia and you will die anyway". That's how this series plays out. It is not motivating. It is astoundingly perplexing.

And really-really puzzling. Although this video had grown on me.



"Daily Affirmation from a Beautiful Woman" stars Jessica Gomes who is definitely a beautiful woman from a standpoint of glamour magazines. She looks nice in a frame although she's so polished you have to wrestle with your suspension of disbelief. She's pure eye-candy, because "why not?". And she acts like a machine approximation of female behavior - extremely unnatural - it feels really uncanny. And she talks in that surreal temptation-inducing, apparently seductive "la di da di, rat tat tat" manner.

And while watching this thing - all you can think of is "eh, huh? Why?" Sheer velocity of its effervescent repugnancy is debilitating.

I think "Daily Affirmation from a Beautiful Woman" is an example of unintentional trolling.

It is seemingly po-faced atrocity. It was meant to be inspiring but it plays out so straight you mind goes amuk. It feels wrong. So wrong you get a teaser of "Prometheus" played in your head for a moment. It is mind-numbingly empty. And that is where it succeeds. It is more than just some random motivational video. It is full-on all guns blazing deconstruction of the genre. It takes all seemingly effective elements and mixes them into disengaged morose look at the null and void that it really is.