Noncewords as brandnames are nothing new. But hey, this one is really good dont you think? 

The trick is that it looks like the word "chocoboom". But it is not, because it is written in ukrainian using ukrainian letters that look like english letters. 

It actually reads "сносовоом" aka "snosovoom". I really the way this word sounds - it is like a spell that sucks you into that haunting state where everything is still and you understand the connections between the things.

Never Be Game Over

Believe it or not - this is not related to Metal Gear Solid V: The Phantom Pain and one of its characters - Quiet. It is a snapshot from one of the final issues of Matt Fraction / Chip Zdarsky Image comics series Sex Criminals (aka the one that went out with one hell of a whimper). But it fits really well into Metal Gear Solid V: The Phantom Pain lore and sentiments in the aftermath of Quiet's Exit.

Five years too late.

Robert Giard - Sliced American

This is a photograph of something folded. I don't even know what exactly. And i don't want to know. It just looks curious. And nothing more. 

I like looking at it. And then not looking at it. There is this indistinct milquetoast sense of mystery that is not exactly thrilling nor peculiar - it is just there. 

Found Poetry: Dunkirk Small Boat Fleet

I was cleaning up the apartment with the TV on to make some background noise. It was run-of-the-mill operation - getting the dust and litter out of the system in a manner of destructive, cleansing meditation. While doing that i've noticed that there is a new Christopher Nolan flick playing - "Dunkirk". I didn't cared much about the film when it came out and to be honest, i couldn't care less at that particular moment. There were things much more important then watching this booming extended Benny Hill sketch reedited into a Jodorowsky-like non-sequitir Monty Python sketch.

And then the electricity was shutdown and i was left at my devices. It was right in the middle of the evening so i was also left alone in a complete darkness. It was frustrating. Like an air being let out of the balloon. And so i started to think and one of the things i've been thinking about was Dunkirk evacuation. I thought i should read a little bit more about it. So when the power was back up - i've made a little research and read some stuff about Dunkirk events.

One of the things that i've found really fascinating were so-called Small Boat Fleet also known as Dunkirk Little Ships. As you know - those were the civilians who reached out to help with the evacuation of the troops of the beach. It was a ragtag fleet of boats of all types. The most interesting thing about them were the names of the ships. Coupled together - it was a sight to behold.

There were ships called "Count Dracula", "Feasible", "Grey Mist", "Jeff", "Lady Gay" and more. There was also another thing i have noticed - the list was oddly poetric. If you read through the list - it will appear like an odd poem of its own. Barely sensible, but a poem nonetheless. Here's my take on this phenomenon:


Abdy Beauclerk, Aberdonia, Advance, 

Alusia, Aquabelle, Aureol (previously Kitty)

Beatrice Maud, Bessie, Bluebird, Blue Bird, Bounty, Bou Saada Breda (previously Dab II)

Brown Owl;

Cabby, Cachalot Challenge, 

Chantecler, Chico Chumley - Count Dracula;
Daphne, Davia, Dawn, Defender, Diana, Dianthus, Dragonfly, Dowager
Elsa II Ena Endeavour Eothen, Ethel Maud - Fairwind;

Feasible now Meloy?

Felicity, Ferry Nymph, Felicity, Firefly; Forty Two

Gay Venture

Gentle Ladye, Guide of Dunkirk (now called the Girl Guide);

Glala now Mahalia - Grey Mist

Hilfranor -
Inspiration: Jeff, Jovial.

Lady Cable, Lady Gay, Lady Lou - Landscaper

Lazy Days;

Letitia 

Maid Marion;
Mimosa Moonraker

Naiad Errant Nancibelle 

New Britannic, New Windsor Castle;
Noneta

Omega;

Ona II Orellana
Papillon, Patricia, Polly, Pudge
Quest;
Rapid One, Resolute;
Sea Mew; Sundowner; Smolt

Thark Tom Tit

The King;
Vanguard;

Wanda Warrior, Wayfarer, Windsong.

Having Fun with OCR: Owls are not what they seem edition

Sometime Optical Character Recognition can uncover something really unexpected in the text that is actually quite comprehesible.

This is the case with this caption:

Here we have an entire sheet of with the word "Zoop!". In case if you don't know, "Zoop!" is an onomatopoeaic exclamation accompanied by finger guns that originated on Reddit a couple of years ago. The story goes - it came out of tired frustration. But in essence, it is eerie nondescript.

Know your meme got the caption you can see above and given its repetitive nature - it is perfect cannon fodder for some blatant conceptual experimentation. Naturally, i've put this image through OCR engine.

Here's what came out of it:

fiQfiEwo@oEwfi©fiEWfi©fiEwfi©fihwo@fiEWfi©fihw
a©aEWfi©fiEwa©amwfi©fihw¢©amwfi©fimwa©amw
fi©fihw¢©amwfi©fih®fi©fih®fi©fimwa©amwfi©fimw
fi©fiEWQ©fiEWfi©oEWfi©fiEWo©oEWfi©fihwo©fihw
fi©fihwa@fihwfi©fifiwa©fihwfi©fihwo©oEWfi©fihw
G©oEWfi©fiEWoQoEWfiQfiEWfi©fiEwfi©fiEWfi@fiEW
fi©fihw¢©amwfi©fih®fi©fih®fi©fimwa©ahwfi©fimw
a©5EWfi©fibwa©fimwfi©fimwa©amwfi©fihwa©ahw
fiQfiEwo@oEwfi©fiEWfi©fiEwfi©fihwo@fiEWfi©fihw
a©aEWfi©fiEwa©amwfi©fihw¢©amwfi©fimwa©amw
fi©fihw¢©amwfi©fih®fi©fih®fi©fimwa©amwfi©fimw
fi©fiEWQ©fiEWfi©oEWfi©fiEWo©oEWfi©fihwo©fihw
fi©fihwa@fihwfi©fifiwa©fihwfi©fihwo©oEWfi©fihw
G©oEWfi©fiEWoQoEWfiQfiEWfi©fiEwfi©fiEWfi@fiEW
fi©fihw¢©amwfi©fih®fi©fih®fi©fimwa©ahwfi©fimw
a©5EWfi©fibwa©fimwfi©fimwa©amwfi©fihwa©ahw
fiQfiEwo@oEwfi©fiEWfi©fiEwfi©fihwo@fiEWfi©fihw
a©aEWfi©fiEwa©amwfi©fihw¢©amwfi©fimwa©amw
fi©fihw¢©amwfi©fih®fi©fih®fi©fimwa©amwfi©fimw
fi©fiEWQ©fiEWfi©oEWfi©fiEWo©oEWfi©fihwo©fihw
fi©fihwa@fihwfi©fifiwa©fihwfi©fihwo©oEWfi©fihw
G©oEWfi©fiEWoQoEWfiQfiEWfi©fiEwfi©fiEWfi@fiEW
fi©fihw¢©amwfi©fih®fi©fih®fi©fimwa©ahwfi©fimw
a©5EWfi©fibwa©fimwfi©fimwa©amwfi©fihwa©ahw
fiQfiEwo@oEwfi©fiEWfi©fiEwfi©fihwo@fiEWfi©fihw
a©aEWfi©fimwa©amwfi©fihwa©amwfi©fimw

It turns out that underneath that completely innocent and absolutely pointless image was hidden this wicked incantation. I find it debilitatingly charming.

But that's not all. When I turned the image in 180 degrees - i've got this:

doon-@Q-
doon-@Q- doozfl©odooz$©$ doozfl©5dooz$®$ doozD©Ddoon~©Q~
doon©odoon©Q doozD©odoon©Q doon©odoon©Q doozfl©LI
doon-@Q~ doozfl©odooz$©§l doozD©Ddoon©Q~ doozD©9doon~©Q~
doon©odoon©Q doozD©odoon~®Q~ doon@-Ddoon-@Q-
doon-@Rl~ doon©Odoon~©Q doozfl©5dooz$©¢ doozfl©odooz$©¢
doon©Odoon©Q doozD©5doon©Q doon©odoon©Q doozfl©§I
doon©Q doozfl©odooz¢©§l doozD©Ddoon©Q~ doozfl©9dooz$©¢
doozD©odoon©Q doozD©odoon~©Q~ doozg@odoon-@Q-
doon-@Rl~ doozfl©odooz$©$ doozfl©5dooz$®$ doozD©Ddoon~©Q~
doon©odoon©Q doozD©odoon©Q doon©odoon©Q doozfl©LI
doon-@Q~ doozfl©odooz$©§l doozD©Ddoon©Q~ doozD©9doon~©Q~
doon©odoon©Q doozD©odoon~®Q~ doon@-Ddoon-@Q-
doon-@Rl~ doon©Odoon~©Q doozfl©5dooz$©¢ doozfl©odooz$©¢
doon©Odoon©Q doozD©5doon©Q doon©odoon©Q doozfl©§I
doon©Q doozfl©odooz¢©§l doozD©Ddoon©Q~ doozfl©9dooz$©¢
doozD©odoon©Q doozD©odoon~©Q~ doozg@odoon-@Q-
doon-@Rl~ doozfl©odooz$©$ doozfl©5dooz$®$ doozD©Ddoon~©Q~
doon©odoon©Q doozD©odoon©Q doon©odoon©Q doozfl©LI
doon-@Q~ doozfl©odooz$©§l doozD©Ddoon©Q~ doozD©9doon~©Q~
doon©odoon©Q

This is even more disturbing. It reminds me of Tibetan monks chants as heard on KLF's Chillout.

But that's not all. After getting another fix of OCR discovery - i've used another OCR engine and this time - i've got this:

Q.Q.Q.Q.Q.Q.Q.Q.Q.Q.CLQ.Q.Q.Q.Q.Q.Q.CLQ.Q.Q.Q.Q.Q.
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
ooooooooooooooooooooooooo
NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN
©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©
CL^CL^CL^CL^CL^-Cl^CL^-Cl
CL ^ CL ^ Q ^ CL
CL
©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©
ClClClClCLClCLClCLClClClCLClCLClCLClClClCLClCLClCLCL
oooooooooooooooooooooooooo
oooooooooooooooooooooooooo
NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN
©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©
CL
CL
CL
CL
CL
CL
CL
CL
CL
CL
K "8 "8 „
N m N m N m N
N
ClClClClClClClClClClClClClClClClClClClClClClClClClCl
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
oooooooooooooooooooooooooo
NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN
©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©
CL ^ CL
CL
CL
CL ^ CL
CL
CL
Cl a Cl
CL
CL
CL
Kl N N Kl Kl Kl INI Kl Kl Kl Kl Kl Kl Kl
N
N
N
N
N
N
N
N
N
N
N
N
CLClCLClCLCLCLClCLClCLClCLCLCLClCLClCLClCLCLCLClCLCl
oooooooooooooooooooooooooo
oooooooooooooooooooooooooo
NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN
©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©©

Now this is some serious concrete poetry.

MFT: Wish You Were Here - Tell Me all the Swear Words you know scene (featuring Heathcote Williams)

This is a short scene from 1987 British quirky romantic melodrama "Wish you were here". It features _ as Lynda, the lead character of the film and Heathcote Williams as her psychiatrist.

The story goes Lynda went a little bit mental and acted quite a bit beyond the boundaries of decency. She showed her stockings, suspenders and knickers to everybody. Because of that she was sent for evaluation by the psychiatrist played by one and only Heathcote Williams, who somehow manages to chew scenery while retaining stone cold demeanor. The way he hams it up is simply impressive.

The scene starts with the psychiatrist attempting to determine what kind of help Lynda needs. In order to do that, he asks Lynda to go through the alphabet and recite all the swear words she knows. Lynda is a bit confused by the proposed exercise but is onboard with this kind of exercise and happily engages in the act.

The thing starts with "A" and "ass". Heathcote tries to confuse her by accentuating on the ridiculuousness of the situation, but Lynda is undeterred. There is nice back and forth with "ass...hole".

Then, on the later "B" Lynda blasts the whole barrage of words - "bloody bastard bugger bum". But she missed "balls" and points that out and Heathcote retorts with "so we did, nevermind".

Then, on the letter "C" she finally stumbles. She wants to say "cock" or "cunt" but stops herself, says she can't think of nothing. Heathcote asks her to say "something really filthy".  Instead she delivers "caca" while increasingly annoyed Heathcote catches her on that.

The next letter "D" rolls on smoothly with "damn". The letter is "E" is omitted due to the fact that there are no swear words starting with "E". Lynda tries to argue that but decides to go on.

When Heathcote transitions to letter "F" he suggests Lynda to use the "dirty, smutty" word everyone knows while Lynda tries to play stupid and says she doesn't know what he is talking about. Heathcote is trying to get it out of her while she denies she knows it. When he bluntly states that he wants to hear he saying that words, Lynda cuts him off with "dirty old bugger".

Heathcote gives up and goes away. I guess this is going to be a long day.

MFT: Hulk Hogan vs Randy Savage - Breathing Match

Here's a little video that shows how transformation and recontextualization makes the case for a new concept forged out of an old thing in a completely unintentional manner. The video depicts a bizarre sighting - two acclaimed professional wrestlers Hulk Hogan and Randy Savage doing nothing but intensely breathing. Why? Because this video is an edit of a the pair of back to back promos following the break-up of their tag team Mega Powers prior to the feud culmination at Wrestlemania V in 1989.

It is strangely affectionate piece. Here's what is going on. First The Hulkster breathes hard as if his life depended on in (just don't think about it too hard). He breathes and breathes and breathes in leaps and bounds. He is red, he is sweaty, he is trembling. Then Randy Savage does the same thing and he breathes so intensely he takes off his glasses and breathes even harder, because he wants to come on top or something like that (just don't think too hard about it). His veins pop up, his eyes are bugged out huge - one thing for sure, this man is on the edge.

In the end - it is fair to say that Randy Savage had decisively outbreahed Hulk Hogan in a recontextualized promo standoff. Even though it doesn't really mean a thing - it is a feel good moment for whatever reason nevertheless (maybe because Hulk Hogan kinda sucks). Sure, if this thing was edited as back and forth - it would have been much more effective showcase. But even like that it is enough to establish the concept.

With all the words edited out - this segment is a completely different thing. While the video is loving mocking overly exaggerated promo delivery that was a dominant aesthetic of WWF in the late 80s - it also unintentionally presents a novel concept - a breathing match. The one where competitors should outbreath each other. And the more i think about it - the more i like it.

Just imagine how it might work - you have to outbreath your opponent. How to do it? What is counted as outbreathing? Probably, it depends on who is judging or physical condition of the opponent over the course of the match. Or stumbles and stutters in the breathing bouts. Either way - this video is one of those magical moments when the bliss of nonsense sparks excitement.

MFT: Celebrating MindVox ASCII Banner

Of all the things you can find on the internet - bizarre promotional typographic constructions are among the ones that also always manage to occupy a special place in my heart even though there is nothing special about them even if you lower your standards of specialness low enough for them to qualify.  

The reason for that is simple - they are easy to play with through various text manipulation and transformation applications. That's the thing with ASCII stuff - it is fun to mess with. 

Case in point - MindVox ASCII Banner. The startup was founded in late 1991 by two former members of Legion of Doom hacker group - Bruce Fancher AKA Dead Lord and Patrick Kroupa AKA Lord Digital. It was an Internet Service Provider of a new kind - the one free of corporate shenanigans (something that is becoming increasingly timely right now when the notion that corporations and their grip on the internet is detrimental to the very essence of the world wide web became obvious even to the most casual users). By the mid-90's the service was shut down, probably because it was way ahead of its time and there was not enough momentum to sustain it on a proper level.

Nevertheless, their legacy lives on. And they left a fancy banner for me to screw with. While it is not really a piece of sophisticated artistry, there is a weird charm to this logo, the way the characters are arranged and formatted. 

Takes a look:


         /\_-\
        <((_))>
         \- \/
 /\_-\(:::::::::)/\_-\
<((_))  MindVox  ((_))>
 \- \/(:::::::::)\- \/
         /\_-\
        <((_))>
         \- \/

There are slashes left and right, underscores, dashes, dashes, dashes, colons, colons, colons, brackers, less-than sign, more-than sign and the name of the company "MindVox" right in the middle of all this. Also - the whole thing is manually centered to compose an image. There are whole lotta spaces involved in this unthankful operation. 

While you play with those things long enough (and you do because it is rather time consuming exercise in wasting time) - after a while (a long-long while) you can get some really unexpected things out of it. You can even get some sweet conceptual poetry out of it, if you waste your time hard enough. But it is fun to mess with it just for the sake of it. 

MFT: Vlodko Kostyrko - Gotta Be Hard

You know sometimes, you need to stop and take a long, hard look back at all the things that happened over some time and contemplate about the inherent movement of time and its utter inanity. It helps to get the hold on oneself and retain some sort of a perpicatious balance. 

This is what just happened to me. It was rather rough. I had a bout of anxiety for no reason at all. Just felt really-really lost all of a sudden. 

But while i was trying to get myself together - one image came to my mind and denied going away before it was spewn into the ether. It was somewhat indelible but otherwise not quite significant. The word that best describes this image is perplexing. And then haunted because it was not going away.

Here is this little picture: 

It is a photo by Vlodko Kostyrko, an artist from Lviv. He is a good chap with some really cool paintings. You should check him out. 

The photo documents a message. It is a proverbial writing on the wall. A sentence if being exact. An assertive one. The text says:

"Gotta be hard. Dick.". 

I guess this needs phrase no further elaboration because it says everything for itself. It is as tongue in cheek as it gets and that is what makes it so special. It makes sense. Probably too much sense, but you can't really argue with the message. It is true. That's the way it should be.

The photo was made circa 1993. No further information regarding the piece is available but who cares when this is the piece we are talking about. This piece needs nothing to be appreciated.

As it is - it is a nice little piece of provocative graffitti that is rarely to be found these days when the very concept is utilized and commodified to walk in line with the party. It shows everything truly great writing on the wall should be - blunt and direct, pointing at vaguely abstract and erupting eerie opaqueness that engulfs everything around it just to prove its point.

 

MFT: That time when Kyle Kallgren was impersonated by some conceptually inclined troll

Kyle Kallgren's Brows Held High is one of the most celebrated video essay series about cinema. The man knows how to uncover lots of deep stuff in various films. His videos are always insightful and full of inspired editorial choices. You can just watch the visual with no sounds and it still will retain some of the punch. 

However, this story is about that time when i've stumbled upon the other channel attributed to Kyle Kallgren.

It was three years ago. I was surfing on YouTube, looking for some sweet videos to watch. And then - i've found another channel of Kyle Kallgren. It wasn't what I was expecting. It was full of weird abstract stuff. Not as uncanny as Webdriver Torso - just swathes of static color and nothing else.

I was a big fan of his works and it was really strange to find a another channel full of nonsensical monotonous videos. And i wrote a post about it on Zouch. And then i received a comment from the real Kyle Kallgren - and it turned out that the channel  was not his in the slightest - it was some "troll-impostor" as he called him.

This was a fascinating turn of events. You may wonder why anyone would take another persons name to get attention. This also may be the answer. But don't think too hard about it. Even I don't care. There's more than this.

The channel in question contained something that in certain circumstances may be considered a conceptual art of sorts. In a Martin Creed way.

It is very vile and mean-spirited kind of art. The one that can be best described by the phrase "take that". It's a collection of videos - most of them posted years ago - all of them are 15 minutes and one second long and they all have no sound and just one fixed image. In case of this post - colours. And it's wonderfully mesmerizing in its dumb simplicity.

So why it matter? Because it literally discharges the pus.

Yep. And because of that - it is good. It produces this legendary "void of blank-nil-null-any-none". 

And honestly - after some disappointing bullshit and cowbell like The Tribe (the movie that was so lame and empty i thought all the substance was evacuated from its own atrocity) - looking at this is a relief.
Sure, it's more of anger management but at least these videos retain some sense of casualty. Y'know - happens. Phosphenes do their job better than one might expect. Raise a weathered thumb. The blurred mesh and murmur will drift in the gregarious smoke.

The channel has been deleted long since and you can't really experience its glorious pointlessness. But you can read my description and sleep with it. And you can also watch Jarman's Blue again...

  

Accidental poetry of a game review

This is an unusual review of the newest videogame about Marvel Comics franchise player character Spiderman. It was released a couple of month on Sony Playstation 4. The review video was made by Mr. Sunday Movies and it is not your standard game review. On one hand, it is not what it is supposed to be, but on the other hand - it is more than one would expect.

Unlike any other Spiderman game reviews that flooded Youtube around the time the game was released - this one stands apart as being a thing of its own while retaining a semblance of a routine assessment commentary with a tongue firmly and tenaciously in cheek.

Part of the reason it is so lies in the very simple fact - this review blatantly omits every single trope of the traditional video game review. There are no background to speak of (except for the statement that the review copy was provided by the publisher), no technical context of the review is presented, there is no personal perspective in any manner, there are no comments regarding controls, no comments regarding the narrative structure or the pacing of the game. In a way, it gives little to no information about the game that might be helpful in the consideration process. And despite all this - it succeeds in making a lasting of what the game is about.

Instead of relying on info readalong and truism spattering - this review just lists bunch of stuff you can do in the game. There is a reason for that - an author admits he never really did a game review and has no idea how to put it together and make it stand apart from the rest. And so he does just the opposite. He makes a game review and makes distinct by not making it.

And since the game is made in the genre of a sandbox - this is probably the best way to show an audience what the game is about on a practical level.

The text of the video is something to behold. It is an unintentional piece of poetry. The that happened on accident despite lack of effort. Sometimes it happens that way, especially when the thing in question is clearly of throwaway nature. Since the text is built on the list structure - there is certain hypnotic, monotonous rhythm. It is what makes it work.

Here's a transcription in case if the video will ever go down:

Hello!
This is my review for Spiderman on a Playstation 4.
I have never reviewed a videograme before
So i'm going to list all the things you can do in the game.

Let's go.

You can run up the wall
You can climb in a vent
You can kick and kick
and web and punch and flip and kick
and jump and web and punch and kick
and kick and jump and jump on a web and then
WHOP!

You can be strangled
You can play a circuitbreaker minigame
You can play a different minigame (matching wavelengths)
You can run up a when
Then you can flip pver the building and it is beautiful sunset
And you are falling and you are falling
You think you need to grab a thing
and then you web and you go up in the air
and you do another flip
and then you are in free fall
and then you zip and you are on a little lamppost

You can have your Playstation 4 internal software catch a program glitch
so you are extremely limited by what you can show in your review

You can stealth
Look at me stealth
Dah - Knock on these boxes

You can stealth as Spiderman
and then injure a man beyond repair

You can stealth on a speeding vehicle
or die trying

You can run and run
and run and run
and run and run
and round and round
and run and run
and run and run
and run and run
and round and round

and run and run
and run and run
and round and round

round round...

You can swim - uh...

You can web three guys to a garbage truck and celebrate in front of them.

You can watch carrot chopping...

(awkward pause)

You can ice skate... you can't ice skate...

You can chase a pigeon

and then kill a pigeon.

And that's all the things you can do in Spiderman on Playstation 4.

MFT: Predator 2 Dance Outtake

There is a new Predator movie coming out! So let us all remember this undeservedly little-known crowning moment of awesome from way back when!

This is an outtake from the film "Predator 2". It takes places on the Predator Ship that appeared during the final showdown of the Danny Glover's character Mike Harrigan and City Hunter Predator. The scene featuring the members of the Los Angeles Hunting Party. But unlike what is seen in the film, where they pick up their fallen comrade and congratulate Harrigan with getting a win - they do something out of the ordinary - a dance routine.

Yep. A bunch of predators dancing in their ship filled with some atmospheric fog because why not. Needless to say, it is quite an unconventional showcase of the species to say the least.

The scene was probably shot during one of the breaks or in the end of a tiring day or as a test of the lighting or just out of whim. It plays out as a self-contained video. If you think about it - this is an ultimate piece of behind the scenes footage. Something so out of place and so meaningless you can't resist but liking it.

The scene starts with one of the predator coming into the hall of the ship. He is then joined by the rest of gang. They get into the new jack swing groove with orchestral stabs on tails peppered with the lead predator counting down the beats. The dance is basic but given the fact that these the Predators dancing - it comes out as an utterly bizarre sight.

There is a lot of Predator hip shaking which is a bit baffling sight to behold. Then there is a little bit of tap dancing, some jumping bouncing and even a short burst of gopak before they all come into the circle and Danny Glover joins in and they get into the groove of utter ridiculuousness of the scene.

This dance was choreographed by Lionel Douglass who played one of the predators in the final scene. He is the last Predator seen dancing before Glover joins in.

"Predator 2" was a mixed bag of a film. It contained some solid Predator action, a couple of particularly nasty set-pieces, unconventional casting decisions, troubling racial stereotypes with some downright racist undertones and other somewhat erratic pace. However, it was a decent expansion of the Predator lore that culminated in a brief in-joke turning into a franchise of its own.

MFT: Robot Chicken - Alien Slapstick Comedy

It is a well-known fact that things unseen are the most effective imagination teasers.  That's how it works. In this clip from the recent episode of the "Robot Chicken" we can see what happened behind the closed doors during the climax of James Cameron's 1986 classic "Aliens".

The episode elaborates on a scene where Ripley and Hicks are trying to break through the hordes of aliens during the climax of the movie. As you know, once they get into the elevator - alien drone blocks the door and tries to get inside but Hicks shoots him and get injured by the alien's acid blood. That's what we see in the film. This episode explores fate of the alien drone. And it is a bit slapstick.

Since xenomorph's blood is acidic - this creates a problem for an injured creature. Instead of just retreating anywhere - its blood burns through the floor and the creature falls level down. Over and over again. It tries to avoid another fall by jumping on the box but it backfires and so xenomorph falls down and meets the box. Then, on another level, it tries to run away from the hole but instead alien gets a prolong falling session down to the depths of Hadley's Hope.

It turns out that underneath the Hadley's Hope was a xenomorph city. Because of course it was there all along. With the buildings, streetlights and sidewalks and other xenomorphs walking leisurely casually dressed. An unfortunate alien falls down and gets splashed on the ground. The passerby sees that and calls an ambulance. Xenomorph's body is taken away but since the blood is acidic - it damages an ambulance car and causes one final accident.

Moral of the story - don't spill acid blood when you bleed.

MFT: The Band - The Title - The Tracklist As a Poem

More often than not, the tracklist contains more than just a list of songs in a particular order. Sometimes it tells a story of its own. Other times it evokes a stream of images of its own that just ebb and flow independently from the music they designate.  

There are also those rare instances when every element of the equation clicks in a different way - when the name of the band, the title of an album and the tracklist form a thing in itself, a poem of sorts. 

Today i've stumbled upon one of such.

MFT: Henry Rollins - Frozen Yogurt

This is a segment from The Eric Andre Show in which Henry Rollins, the man who can tell stuff like no one else, goes on a minimalist and rather straightforward albeit roundabout rant about frozen yogurt.

The reason for him going on the explosive rant is simple - Frozen yogurt is not what it seems. It is not frozen, it is just very cold thus the title "frozen" is illegitimate and is blatant unmitigated lies. The story is augmented by the disjointed jazzy background score and cutaways to temporarily displaced trombonist being full of himself.

MFT: Nuclear Bomb Explosion Videos

The explosions of the nuclear bombs is probably one of the most mesmerizing and simultaneously terrifying things the man can see. Flashes, afterglows, mushroom clouds, craters - it is a thing to behold. It is a weird thing to claim considering the fact that these are weapons of mass destruction that are definitely one of the worst ideas that ever glimpsed into a human brain that still threatens the future of humanity in more than one way. But nevertheless there is something inherently artistic in the documentation of their morbid action. It is hard to explain, but there is something that grabs my attention the other way.

The weird thing about the documentation of the nuclear bomb tests is the way it often defamiliarizes the subjects. On the still images some of the explosions look like a pieces of abstract art bursting out of realistic landscape. You can't even tell if it is actually an explosion. If you look at some of the aerial tests photos - it might be like a slightly abstracter Turner thing.

This strange effect translates into motion too. While in motion the explosions are still a symphonies of destruction and absolutely abhorrent atrocity - it also feels bizarrely subdued, lacking the punch as if the moving images drained the explosion of its energy. It looks like a very big lab test from school. Which is a perplexing feeling.

It takes an effort to distance yourself from the fact that these things were designed to destroy. But once you go beyond that you start to notice the aesthetic qualities of the thing.

Case in point - this video:



This is a footage from an Operation Hardtack-1. This particular test was conducted on July 22, 1958. It is a 65 kiloton bomb. The footage starts with a blinding flash after which the white cloud occurs turns blue turns black and slowly dissipates revealing enormous black mushroom cloud going up in the sky.

The image burns into memory - this enthralling black void in a form of a mushroom cloud that hangs in the space like a thorn in the side.

***

Or here's Johnnie. This video presents a very different presentation. It is slowed down to a crawl and goes on for eight minutes. The explosion is filmed from a very large distance. Mushroom cloud slowly evolves, gradually disintegrates into nondescript whirl of smoke and dust. First straightens into a something of a pillar, then the upper part swells. It pretends to be a balloon for a moment before it starts to fold in two laying down on earth as a thick mist. Because of the chosen pace it is grueling.



***
And here's Danny! This is also a slowed down footage. It shows the underground explosion. The ground slowly swells and burst into a nondescript shambles before an abrupt cutoff. It is somewhat confusing but nonetheless rather disturbing if you think about it.


***
Turk 28100 is probably one of the most beautiful documentations of the atomic explosion ever. Seriously. The way the flash in the sky turns into a fiery bowl of energy that engulfs everything around is something to behold.

The explosion bubble from the very start looks more like a piece of abstract art than a weapon of mass destruction in action.


***
Here's another something-something. This one is from the Operation Dominic. It is a slowed down footage of a flash in the sky that turns into a large ball of nondescript matters that grows and grows and lights up all the surroundings until it is blinding white. The ball of light hangs in the sky and slowly dissipates into thin air.

The cloud nearby is the strangest thing in this video. It just hangs around and slowly moves from right to left.

This particular footage looks like of the abstract experimental films from the 50s from the guys like Stan Brakhage.



***
Kickappo is an explosion in the sky. It occurs in the middle of the pitch black darkness, burns itself out and dissolves in the blackness. What happens after that is probably beyond comprehension.


***
This one is a bit of a non-thing and it is also one of the weirdest. It is just a flash in the sky that stuck and pretends to be a part of the scenery.




***
Bighorn was another aerial test. It looks a symphonic poem. The thing starts with a flash that takes a moment to burst out to the full force. It hangs in the middle shining brighter and brighter while everything around goes darker and darker.

After a while the ball of light disintegrates, its lower part dissolves and its upper part pretends to a Cathedral.


***
Don't get me wrong, anyway you think about it - it is the thing that should not be. It is disgusting. But it doesn't mean that it doesn't look nice.

MFT: Chef/Jive/ValSpeak/Pig Filter

Text substitution is rather attractive technique from a creative standpoint. You can take any text and transform it into semi-comprehensible slightly deformed wraith of itself and uncover some hidden things of the text in the process. Isn't that great? What is even better is text substitution combined with some elaborate vernacular.

Chef/Jive/ValSpeak/Pig Filter is a kind of translator that makes reading of the text a little bit more complicated and in the same time very entertaining. It is a pure novelty but it can be applied in a more creative ways too. For instance, it is a viable option in terms of creating seething malapropism-riddled verses of nil. Not only the translation disjoints the original text while keeping the form, it also undermines its original meaning by deforming the very words it is expressed with. The resulting text is resembling the original but is considerably deformed and ravaged which makes it different. 

The translator uses general English vocabulary as a foundation and converts it through four sociolect filters: valleyspeak, pig latin, jive talk and swedish chef. All of them are astoundingly bizarre at first. However, without tinkering and creative approach to an input text - the joke gets old after two or three times.

Valleyspeak is the simplest of the bunch and it can be used for slight, less visible sabotaging of the text. The text is not really blasted off. You just get a couple of inserts ranging from "like" and "ya know" to "uh" and "wow!". You also get minimal distortions here there but nothing actively assaulting your perception. If used sparingly over the text, it can act as a form of textual tongue-in-cheek corpsing.

Jive talk is an extremely limited approximation of african-american urban vernacular. AIt can be used as a wham-joke fill, but not much. It doesn't change the text that much aside from chewing parts of the words and occassional inserts of "ha'" and "ah'" with exclamations like "What it is, Mama?". However, it can be useful as a raw material - you can extract chewed parts of the words and random exclamations and construct rather peculiar sound poem out of it.

Pig Latin is a classic dada verbal terrorism. If you need to make the text utterly unreadable celebration of ad lib nihil - then this is the thing to use. It can seriously improve middling text by strong-arming into it many-many much-unneeded suffixes and prefixes and also messing parts of the words around like trash. The resulting text looks like a text that will make you question the nature of comprehension. Which is always a good thing.

Swedish Chef is inspired by an eponymous characters from The Muppets and his signature manner of speak. This filter creates some elaborately ragged and rotten mutations of the common words. At times, it actually manages to make the words indistinguishable which is great. As such, it is best used for more complex words as they tend to be distorted far more deeply. The combination of such distorted words can make a good sound poem.

Translation is probably the single most creative activity one can imagine. You take a piece of text and substitute words from one language or dialect to another. You can just provide direct translation and make an utterly clumsy alienated text and you can thoroughly adapt to the nuances of the other language. In essence, translation can be anything - there are no particular rules especially if you are doing this for your own pleasure and not for some heightened goals of cultural dialogue.

MFT: White Hell Puzzle

There is something special in putting together puzzle mosaics. It is almost like making a piece of art it depicts. I guess it is fair to drew parallels to conceptual art and appropriation aesthetics. At least it requires a significant effort to make it and adds worth to it. The whole process of gradual reconstruction of the picture, piece by piece, is exciting and frustrating in the same time. Completed puzzle mosaic is a personal achievement.

But what if things take a step further into the conceptual and in the process spur out of control into concrete block tornado? White Hell Puzzle is one of the premier examples of such turn of events. 

White Hell Puzzle is a big puzzle mosaic (which is a challenge in of itself) with a gimmick. It is one element that elevates this puzzle mosaic on a completely different level, the one beyond reason and comprehension -  there is no picture to put together. Just endless whiteness sliced into puzzle pieces.

The puzzle is all white. Every single piece of it is nothing but white. No significant details to hang on, nothing to clue you in or give any sort of direction. Just white puzzle pieces that ultimately constitute a square or rectangle picture that is actually a monochrome slab of nothing. 

It is imposing on its own and rather intimidating in the process. And this makes things even more challenging than just putting together a large scale mosaic. But it is not off putting. Far from it - cracked whiteness dares to reconstruct it.

Basic procedure remains more or less the same: you choose one piece as a starting point, look for another piece that will fit it, try one, it doesn't fit, go for another - it seems like a right stuff and so you move on, but the pieces don't fit, and you go one after another and it doesn't seem to work and then you get lost in the sea of pieces and feel a little bit bedazzled because none of the available pieces really fit and nothing makes sense and why are you doing this?

This feeling wraps you into a cocoon, makes you fall asleep, hangs in the air and then hits against the tree. And then the void erupts inside you and engulfs that particular ennui. 

The thing is - white hell puzzle is a subversion of putting together a puzzle image. Tradutionally, you have a reference image and you can match pieces with its help. That's the players crutch. By omitting that element this puzzle makes the whole process of matching pieces extremely complicated. Instead of organised methodical gradual construction you are forced into a guessing game. And this game never really gains any sort of momentum - you just meander around aimlessly in hopes of putting together mosaic. And you can actually do it. But in order to make it you have to go against an instinct.

Puzzle mosaics never get boring. Never ever. Even the simplest compositions with the most generic pictures have this strange innocuous charm. It is not exactly an achievement by any means, you don't get anything worthwhile, you just accoplish a task because you wanted so. In a way, it is more of a feat of a gut, a glorified waste of time than anything else.

But in essense - the whole getting the right pieces in a right combination is a gripping test of endurance, dedication and tenacity. "White Hell Puzzle" is one of the most glorious examples of it.

MFT: Springhole - Random Scar and Amputation Generator

Random generators are things of beauty if done right. They have the potential to go beyond and pierce a hole in a fabric of one's perception of reality just because. There is always a chance that such generator will offer something so unexpected and out of leftfield that it will inspire some positive development in the creative process.

Today i'm going to tell about one of the most fascinating random text generators out there.

Springhole is home to all things related to role-playing games. One of its premier sections are Random Generators where you can find an assorted collection of random generators for every single element of the role-palying games. From names to such peculiar things as motivations behind characters actions or even their deeply hidden secrets.

You can also use world-building and plot-suggesting tools if you are feeling lacking for some reason. There are even a specific generators dedicated to wing and horn design. You can also find a boredom cure generator and cause of death generator. But all of them pale in comparison with this one.

Among other things - you can generate your own set of scars and amputations for the character. As if every other type of random generator was not enough... The reason for such generator to exist is rather simple. It adds something to the game. Such little details add a texture and attitude to the character. And that is something that can trigger narrative developments, often rather unexpected. Which always a good thing.

It is fun from a multiple standpoints. With a little help of this one you can generate a couple of marks of eventful existence. All for the sake of making more elaborate and sophisticated gameplay. You can generate how your character lost an eye in a domestic altercation and also got a "z" scratch near his left ear and then also lost a couple of limbs during an encounters with wolves, dinosaurs, black holes, oblivion and simply on a dare.

It is legitimately hilarious at times. You get packs of three on each turn and they often form a narrative of its and it is almost always rather poetic. On the other hand, this generator is rather interesting thing on its own merits. As a tool for conceptual writing it provides enough material for an elaborate constructions of series of unfortunate events.

For example, here is a story of domestic abuse and misfortune:

A massive scar on the over the left eye received in a fight with a spouse.
A large scar on the right middle finger received in a fight with a parent.
A missing right ear lost due to a household accident.

Or here's a story of three consequetive bouts of unfortunate events:

A large scar on the right little finger received due to a recreational accident.
A  small scar on the left shoulder received due to a fall.
A missing right lower arm lost due to an incident with a bear.

A missing  right thumb received due to an incident with a robot.
A missing right leg lost due to an encounter with a black hole.
A tiny scar on the right upper lip received in a fight picked with a concept of beauty. 

A massive scar on the left side of the upper abdomen received due to falling into an oblivion.
A tiny scar on the right cheek received due to an accident with a large machine.
A missing right big toe lost due to boredom.

Some of these injuries remind of various scars and amputations from the pop culture. You get references to Darth Vader cutting off Luke Skywalker's hand, John Connor getting his scar across the face due to a fight with T-800, Liam Neeson having a scar on each due to fight with a wolf, you even get a shout-out to Frodo getting his finger bitten off by gnarly little creature. It is worth trying to figure out from where comes which sentences even though actual connection is nothing more than a coincidence.

MFT: VanTassel2 - Schlocky Horror Movies Excerpts Without People

Low budget schlocky horror films of old are fascinating to watch. Not only it is a bizarre showcase of conspicuously poor visual effects, on the nose creative decisions and unintentionally experimental narrative choices - it is also a fine battleground for ironic overthinking. The amount of inconsistencies and oversights is reaching the point thinking about such things are more fruitful and satisfying experience than actually watching it. You just can't help but to try to connect the disjointed dots in a comprehensive way. (although watching them is still fun).

But how about taking things to the next level? I've found one thing that does exactly that.