MFT: Jeffsum - Jeff Golgblum Lorem Ipsum

There is no thing less interesting than Lorem Ipsum. And that is the whole point of this thing. This type of placeholder text was never meant to be anything but a purely functional piece and for decades it was just that. 

It was infamous for being a lame word salad but no one really cared about it. There were jokes related to it - but it was never anything substantial. Mostly because - you can't really go far with a placeholder text. 

Then came The Internet and Lorem Ipsum generators became one of the staple of the WWW industrial complex. There are Lorem Ipsum generators of all walks of life. You can even fill out the site with a menagerie of different Lorem Ipsums and make some sort of conceptual art in the process.

Here's another take on this worn out concept. 

This is Jeffsum. It is Jeff Goldblum-themed Lorem Ipsum Generator. Why? Because "of course".  It is one of the many things The Internet had spawned to celebrate its memetic supreme entity known as Jeff Goldblum. With the help of this generator you can make a placeholder text made out of Jeff Goldblum's most iconic lines from different films. It will remain a placeholder text but it will be a little bit better because of the sacred Goldblum injection. You know what i'm talking about "Life finds a way", "Must go faster", "Checkmate..." and so on over and over and over again at random on an endless futile loop of nil. 

The placeholder text is contructed out of a random selection of Goldblum quotes. Because of the source of content and the scattershot nature of the combination - the resulting text doesn't seem like a traditional placeholder text and instead tends more towards a classic word salad. It is a Frankensteinian monster of the text - stiff, moderately lame and overly simplistic, but somehow with a nonsensical beating heart. It is fun to read texts like that. They don't make any sense, but you know where are they coming from and the dissonance coming from the unnatural combination of bits and pieces brings that particular curve on the mouth.

 

Here's an example:

"I gave it a cold? I gave it a virus. A computer virus. Did he just throw my cat out of the window? Must go faster... go, go, go, go, go! Is this my espresso machine? Wh-what is-h-how did you get my espresso machine? Yeah, but your scientists were so preoccupied with whether or not they could, they didn't stop to think if they should."

While it is definitely moving in the right direction - on its own this Lorem Ipsum Generator is too stiff to deliver something mind-boggling. But it provides you with tools to make it work on your own. 

And so i was playing around with this generator for some time until i've managed to cull together one hell of a dada poem. Check it out:

"You know what? 

I was part of something special. 

Just my luck, no ice.

This thing comes fully loaded. AM/FM radio, reclining bucket seats, and... power windows. 

Yes, Yes, without the oops!  

So tell me - does it really exist?

Is this my espresso machine? Checkmate... 

Jaguar shark! I gave it a cold?

And the clock is ticking. 

Forget the fat lady! 

...

King Kong? Do you need a manager?"

Somehow this kind of Lorem Ipsum generator seems like a very natural thing to do. You have two things that doesn't really make sense and together they still don't make any sense but are a little bit more satisfying for some arcane and otherwise nondescript reason.

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P.S.: For me, Jeff Goldblum will always be Ed Okin from "Into the Night" - a kafkaesque displaced character bumbling through the comedy of menace. Anyways. Here's another side to this weird Internet's fascination with the persona of Jeff Goldblum.