It is also a fascinating watch. The way performer takes the breath The way his mouth moves (especially if you can watch it in slow motion). Eye movement is really interesting. There is always separate story told by a fast talkers body. Imagine what goes on inside of him.
But there is a problem. Lightning fast talking is frequently used in commercials. It is commodified and thus its artistic impact is mostly neutralized. It happened that way because airtime is not cheap and advertisers needed to pack as much information as possible in shortest period of time. Curiously, sometimes they try so hard - the result starts to make no sense. Despite original intentions - it transcends from sheer consumerism into pure found sound poetry. But it is fun to think that advertisers actually wanted to provoke some sort of apophenia by such intesity. Because "fight from within" or something liek that. Unfortunately, today the majority of advertisers don't even use real fast talkers - they just speed-up the recording to fit the slot and get on. It is sad.
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Let me tell you about my favorite fast talker. John Moschitta Jr is the man who talks fast. Very fast. He was holding a world record for fastest talking for quite a while and you can hear why. He's shredding with his mouth. He goes full-on Malmsteen. You may recognize his voice from various "Transformers" and "Robot Chicken" animated series or some adverts that pop up here and there once in a while. Unlike the majority of fast talkers who seem to be quite annoying in their performances - John Moschitta Jr knows a secret how to motormouth and remain quite engaging. He talks the way it is hard to miss the point even though it is way too fast to follow through. How he manages to do that? He's doing it by setting the right tone. He performs the text as if it actually was a set of notes. And because of that your mind catches the message. You can also listen to him and intentionally avoid understanding words and enjoy the strange music that comes out of his mouth. Unlike many other fast talkers - he manages to bring so much color in his speech - you can listen to him over and over again just to spot nuances.
In this video clip you can get the basic info on Moschitta Jr.. There are excerpts from his various commercials. He explains his usual modus operandi - reading from the prompter or sheet of paper with a deep breath. He also tells his origin story (which can be summed up as "Why not?" and Pop-eye's "I am what I am"). Then he performs his Guinness record setting tune "You got trouble". And finally on 2:48 - he does 20 second rendition of Michael Jackson's Bad. It is bliss. The way he delivers chorus is especially interesting - because it is almost glossolalia beat-boxing.
Here's another showcase of his skills - from Sesame Street. Unseen woman asks the name of Moschitta Jr child. And he tells it - and his signature manner. The thing with the name is that every part of it start with the next letter of alphabet so that shortened version of the name will be just "ABCDEFGHI...". There is also a sister with a similar gimmick for the name but her short name is just "Sis". This little thing is so cute it grown on me.
I wonder how he would do something like Yello' "Bostich" or Brian Eno' "Ali Click" or King Crimson "The Cage" or Leonard Cohen' "The Future" or Billy Joel' "We didn't start the fire". That would be fun. I hope someday motormouth covers will surpass retro-swing bullshit. Come on, Seth MacFarlane - do the do.
Moschitta Jr also did terrific "Ten Classics in Ten Minutes" record in which he interpreted in ultra-condensed manner some of the classic literary texts. This stuff seems to be perfect cannon fodder for Moschitta Jr. These recordings are not as intense as his advertising stuff but there is one very fun thing happening with the narrative. The stories are abridged to the bare-bones state so that it could be performed in exactly one minute. Every story is presented in sarcastic but rather poignant manner. The way Moschitta Jr chews the scenery while retelling makes the stories tick the other way. The story change angle and morphs into self-contained intentionally jumpy anecdotes.
For example - "Moby Dick" in one minute. Even the idea of compressing such novel seems to be a little bit out there. But Moschitta Jr pulls it off. Sure, he jumps around the plot like a squirrel and makes it seem ridiculous in a good way - but you get the general idea without a bump. Note the storm onomatopoeia - bad weather never brought a smile like this. Honestly, I would listen to full audio book performed by Moschitta Jr.
Or here's his rendition of Tennessee Williams' "Streetcar Named Desire". It's a bullet list of all major scenes in a play. The tempo turns the drama into vaudevillian sabbath. Expect loud footsteps as it all happens in a dance and there is definitely Liza Minelli as Blanche. Background saxophone brings the cheese and blows it with extreme prejudice.
And finally my favorite - "Alice in Wonderland". It is not just an abridged summary. It is a legitimate variation - . Fast tempo actually makes the impression of rapid eye movement during sleep - it sounds like dreaming - everything is mashed together. There considerable leaps of logic. If you remember the full story you can spot the omission and how they were played around.
John Moschitta Jr. is an inspiring example of creative motormouthing. He's doing for fun - but there are some many ideas behind his performances - it is hard not to get inspired.
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