MFT: Die Roboter Incoherents - Tomatan & Janken

Remember that time when i wrote about Useless Machine? Time to add a new chapter.

We live in a world where people are able to prototype something pointless and cute while there are serious threats to the life of entire planet left unsolved and torpid. Because moneybags love stupid shit and "follow their dreams". Not that we don't need funny stupid things but sometimes things get way too far with. Case in point - these two robots. Both are fine example of a waste of time and skills.



This is Tomatan, a robot that feeds its wearer tomatoes. Because, you know, it is a thing, apparently. Nice and simple solution to a problem of being unable to consume tomatoes while running. For real for sure, no doubt. Don't get me wrong, it is a nice idea for a science fiction satire. But, come on, get real - this is bullshit... perfect in every way.

Just think about it. The robot is planted on the wearer shoulders. It is designed as a humanoid. Its body is a container for tomatoes, packed in a clip akin to handgun's. Hands of the robot take out the tomato and shove them to the wearers mouth so that he can stay focused on what he is doing and eat the tomato without occupying his hands.

***


This Janken, a robot that always wins Rock Paper Scissors. Let this sink in. Robot that plays and wins Rock Paper Scissors. Why? Because why not? It is like playing Starcraft with koreans. In reality, it is a nice exercise in developing machine learning algorithms of pattern recognition. AI needs this kind of feeding in order to enhance its performance.

But outside context - it is beyond pointlessness. If you believe the pitch - this robot never loses. This means he's on the streak. And that is something to build a competition upon. Who can defeat the undefeated fabuluous Janken? Kinda like Sword in Stone mixed with The Undertakes. And then someone comes and defeats the robot via shenanigans or clean and takes off him the burden of the streak so that he can move on, probably exloring the undiscovered country or something like that. Oh, this stupid thing is really good for overthinking...

MFT: Portal challenge chamber 14 speedruns

Oversights are tricky beasts. Usually, they lead to cumbersome bane and sullen exasperations. But sometimes oversights bring an unexpectedly inspiring element to the experience. Case in point - Challenge Chamber 14 in Portal.

Today, it is needless to say that "Portal" is one of the greatest video games ever made. Not a big revelation. It is one of a kind experience - mind-bending riff on the puzzle game combined with tenacious intensity of First Person Shooter of Doom's kin. But instead of massacring hordes of bastard demons - you are slaughtering the very fabric of reality by opening numerous portals and making the most nonsensical routing operation ever.

It is fun and engaging game that simply offers something completely different and absolutely else. I still remember how much of a surprise it was to play for the first time. Imagine Portal mechanics applied to Doom Wad The Sky May Be or just plain whitespace. That's going to a psych-out.

Among other things, "Portal" offers a reasonable variety of ways of completing the levels. Some are more elaborate while others are blunt and straightforward. But there is one level that has absolutely out of the box speedrun solution - "Challenge Chamber 14".

Here's how it goes. You need to get a cube and then put a pellet into the receiver in a minimal amount of portals. There are several combinations to pull this off neatly. But there is also one trick that allows you to skip the entire level. It wasn't a result of some ominous insight not it was a part of design, but rather an oversight that was left in the release and subsequently embraced.

And rightfully so - it impressively adds to the overall experience and offers a sleek opportunity to escalate things to utter Kafka-Escher abstract absurdity for a moment. You can watch endlessly the speedruns of this level. It is magnificent.

MFT: Letter A in e.e. cummings The Enormous room

e.e. cummings was the man. He was so tough you could drop a sun on him and he's going to shrug it off while looking really unimpressed and intensely bored. He was that kind of man.

"The Enormous Room" is his first novel. The book was published in 1922. It tells a story of his World War One mishaps with his friend William Slater Brown. It is wild and bizarre store told in a twisted phrases. In a way it bears a backwards resemblence to earlier stuff of Jean Genet.

But i'm here not to tell something about this book. I was reading this book lately and it was deeply engaging read. To the point i accidentally alphabetized the text. It happens with me sometimes.h

Here's the result.

Zur-En-Arrh Transmission: Ultimate playlist of ultimate ultimate

1. The La's - I can't sleep
2. X - I must not think bad thoughts
3. Head of David - Jack Nicholson
4. Steel Pole Bath Tub - Bee Sting
5. Membranes - Great Mistake
6. Walkingseeds - Kill, Kill, Kill For Inner Peace
7. Inca Babies - Opium Den
8. Inspiral Carpets - Smoking Her Clothes
9. Feedtime - Ha Ha
10. Grong Grong - Black Hell
11. Boredoms - Pow Wow Now
12. Flying Luttenbachers - Eaten by Sharks
13. Ruins - Fallout
14. High Rise - Pop Sicle
15. Spacemen 3 - Losing Touch with My Mind
16. God bullies - O Shit
17. Kilslug - Into the Hole
18. Brainbombs - Anal Desire
19. Wire - It's So Obvious
20. Cows - Camouflage Monkey
21. Girls Against Boys ‎- Click Click
22. Lubricated Goat - Stroke
23. Clown Alley - In the Cartoon
24. Live Skull - I was wrong
25. Band of Susans - Plot Twist
26. Uzi - Ha Ha Ha
27. Pussy Galore - Spit 'n' Shit
28. Breaking Circus - Took a Hammering
29. Half Japanese - 1,000,000,000 Kisses
30. Butthole Surfers - Earthquake
31. XTC - Helicopter
32. Pere Ubu - Life Stinks
33. Mission of Burma - Max Ernst
34. Wesley Willis - Casper the homosexual friendly ghost
35. Magazine - Because You're Frightened
36. the Dead Milkmen - moron
37. And You Will Know Us by the Trail of Dead - Monsoon
38. Drunks With Guns - Blood Bath
39. Halo of Flies - Wasted Time
40. Flipper -  Ha Ha Ha
41. Ultravox - The Man Who Dies Every Day
42. Killdozer - Live Your Life Like You Don't Exist
43. Scissor Sisters - I Don't Feel Like Dancin'
44. Birdsongs of the Mesozoic - I'm a Pterodactyl

MFT: Dictionary of Comic Book Onomatopoeia

http://epe.lac-bac.gc.ca/100/200/300/ktaylor/kaboom/Zkaboom.htm

Comic Book Onomatopoeia is probably the last fortress of the weird that is left in the medium. Sure, one might say that there are numerous artistic experiments going on here and there and that is true - there is a lot of stuff that challenges all sorts of artistic boundaries in one way or another. The problem is that all those stuff barely does something to otherwise absolutely traditional and straightforward narrative. just feels boring and unexciting - something no artistic experiment have a right to be. Even if it tries something it still feels as a rethread of same old in other words. It never goes beyond challenging, it never attempts a coup.

On the other hand, despite being tried and tested technique - onomatopoeia still delivers the goods like nothing else.

I guess my fascination with comic book onomatopoeia comes from a
Despite challenging all sorts of aesthetic boundaries, comic books rarely if even challenged the language and visuals itself.

The best comic book ever "Paul AUster

MFT: Louie Louie in Japanese

"Louie Louie" is one of the greatest songs in history of music even though there is nothing special about it. Even if you overthink it so hard the fabric of reality will crack – there still will be nothing special about it. Any way you look at it – it is just a song. A very solid one but it is just a song.

The song is what it is – mind-numbingly sincere upbeat cheerful love song. The story goes: sailor is on the cruise for three days (!), he longs for his love but soon they will reunite and you know what it means. And nothing else.  

It is written in a crude creole english. This makes the song extra clumsy. Chunks of words are bound together into a narrative as if they were torn out of a dictionary to approximately match the content of the message. This tears away any semblance of nuance and leaves only barebones designations of events. This extreme simplicity makes "Louie Louie" curiously direct to the point. 

In a way, it is a perfect example of something so blissfully simple that its simplicity transcends beyond reason and attains charming somewhat gibberish mystique that is utterly unsettling and incredibly thought provoking.

Case in point – that time when FBI investigated the song for being obscene. It was ridiculous but you can understand why it happened - the song is too simple to be just a song - there should have been a second bottom or something. In retrospect FBI's quest seems like a hard case of pareidolia.

"Louie Louie" is easy to learn and fun to sing. Thus hundreds upon hundreds of cover versions of all walks of life in any shape or form. Even more – it was mimicked, elaborated and blatantly ripped off so much you can compose a box set consisting of all variations over the years (with a separate disc dedicated to Frank Zappa) without getting repetitive.

But of all the cover versions available, my favorite is not even recorded one. It is something completely different and absolutely inappropriate. 

My favorite version of “Louie Louie” is merely a Japanese translation of the song. Why? I can’t really explain. I just like the way it looks. It is different and unusual. I know what it is and yet i can't comprehend how something so familiar can be so different and unknowable.

Take a look:

I know what it is and yet it feels different to me. And that what makes it special. It was translated by Yumiko Ebina. Interestingly, one type of japanese writing couldn't contain the might of Louie Louie so it was translated using three types - Kanji, Katakana and Hiragana. 

MFT: Bookshelf Symbol 7 Font

There is something dada in Bookshelf Symbol 7 font. Sure, it is just another standard supplementary symbol font bundled with Microsoft Office - but it doesn't really mean anything. No one really cares about this font. Even font fetishists don't care about. It is neglected and wrapped in infamy.

This font is better known for unfortunate inclusion of certain notorious symbol and subsequent epic saga of handling a removal tool than for its usefulness. And i think it is not fair. Bookshelf Symbol 7 might be utterly useless from an utilitarian point of view but it is definitely a treasure trove for conceptual explorations.

The thing is - this font is stuck between two worlds. On one hand - it is designed as utilitarian symbol font without much of a purpose. On the other - it is a somewhat bland gimmick font for squares. Curiously it manages to be both and none in the same time. It feels out of place. And that is what makes it special. 

This font is perfect for constructing intentionally alienating typographic poems. Since it is merely a symbol switcheroo - it is relatively easy to compose a coherent message behind symbols. It might seem off-putting at first but over time it really comes together as an elaborate lettrist detournement.

BSPH: Butthole Surfers - The Lord is a Monkey

"The Lord is a Monkey" is a song by seminal American band Butthole Surfers. It was first released in 1995 on a "Beavis and Butt-head do America" soundtrack and then in a slightly different form on their 1996' album "Electric Larryland". It is one of the few highlights of the record.

Unlike many other songs on the album, “The Lord is a Monkey” is a no holds barred uncompromising assault on senses. It has more abrasive sound and much more destructive attitude than the rest of songs on an album. In many ways is a throwback to a classic early 1980’s Butthole Surfers dizzy disaster blasting psych-out as heard on “Rembrandt Pussyhorse” and “Locust Abortion Technician”. 

 “Beavis and Butthead”-version is straightforward stream of intensity and menace. It is wrapped in sleazy mist and steadily stomps to a exhilarating climax gradually adding new and new bits to the mix. There is apocalyptic circus pipe organ in the second verse and then guitar infernal laughing contest than slowly morphs into a strangling after the third verse. 

“Electric Larryland”-version is more operatic with several parts jumping on each other. There are detached out there programmed drums and distinct scratching buzzsaw feedbacks throughout the verses. Its biggest difference is in the vacuum cleaner meat mincing blow out bits that blast out of nowhere and turn things inside out and back again. 

The song is excessively cartoony in its composition. Every instrument in the arrangement is too big to fit the frame - everything is over the top. The pieces don’t fit together neatly, there is always something disruptingly sticking out. 

The song’s instrumentation is exquisite. It has massive overwhelming avalanche of drums that goes a long way down in a nasty shepard tone sequence, bass line that disturbingly erroneously tries to keep its place in the composition while out of breath and desperately gasping for air and finally sprawling hydra of guitars that steadily ties a tight knot around the listener’s neck who’s all into upping the internal tension and adding some redness to the cheeks. All while above this the vocals bear ominous thousand yard stare menace of hapless chaos lurking beneath the sounds. 

The crudeness of the arrangement is imposing and that gives the song gleeful demented intensity. Because of that it occasionally rubs the ears the wrong way and it makes the song quite unsettling listen in the headphones. 

From a lyrical standpoint, the song is very curious. Formally, it is stylized as an anti-religious rant. But it quickly derails and go right through the stratosphere with a stream of consciousness cut-up of mashed together buzzwords namedropping images in an increasingly bizarre combinations.

"The Lord is a Monkey" is a kind of a song that erupts upon listener and leaves an elaborate hollowness inside which rings odd and rather backwards for a long afterwards. The music can be best described as a throwing of a butterball in the air and then ferociously bashing it in a “Street Fighter II” style combo and then throwing it off the very long angular staircase and then pinning it to the floor and thrashing senseless into a pulp puree.

MFT: Looking at waveforms of Bowie's and Pop's mixes of "Raw Power"

A few days ago i've stumbled one of the most beautiful things i have ever seen. It was a comparison of two mixes of The Stooges "Raw Power" album - original David Bowie mix and 1997 Iggy Pop brutalist remix.

As you know The Stooges final album "Raw Power" has a dubious recognition of being the best worst recorded rock album in the recorded history of mankind ever. And that is something you just can't make up.

It is mind-boggling how poorly mixed can be a thing. The album is botched thoroughly throughout upside down inside out and backwards. It really sounds like a bizarro-version of The Stooges album - lacking intensity and the punch of the previous two but in the same time being more sophisticated and having that elaborate ineffable incongruity.

And that is part of its demented charm. There are too many things haplessly buried and lost and mind is more than keen to fill the missing pieces with that overzealous ravenous imagination.

The following images are taken from PAO productions. You can read more about the comparison here. But i recommend to look at these images outside context and if possible without tying them with the respective songs. It really looks like a good old abstract expressionism like Clifford Still and Barnett Newman.

The Stooges were something to behold on so many levels i can dedicate entire book to it in a wink with a frown without breaking a sweat. They just that kind of band - there is always something severely inspiring even in a slight remark regarding some minuscule detail. Even a mere sound analysis is an endlessly fascinating thing.

http://www.paoprod.com/Projects/AlbumComparisons/RawPower.htm

BSPH: Gil Trythall - Folsom Prison Blues

Cover versions are often perceived as an easy way of getting through. Because of that they are rarely taken seriously. I was listening to Butthole Surfer's rendition of Donovan's "Hurdy Gurdy Man" the other day and for somehow the next track was much more extreme rendition of another well-known tune.

"Folson Prison Blues" is one of the Johnny Cash' signature songs. It is a simple story of a man doing lots of bad moves and paying for it wholesome. From a musical standpoint it is straightforward country stomper stylized after train rolling - as Cash himself described it "Boom-chicka-boom".

This particular version was recorded by glorious Gil Trythall in 1970 and it is more or less the very same song just performed on a Moog Synthesizer and knee deep in Uncanny Valley and debilitatingly unsettling. It is so weird you would expect HAL-9000 and his pals performing it.

BSPH: The Moog Machine - Jumpin' Jack Flash

Cover versions are tried and tested way of introducing an emerging artist or style. It is based on a play on the contrast with the original version. The thing can show a variety of skills of a performer. It can establish an artist as something worthwhile. In that sense, it is hard to overestimate the influence of Wendy Carlos' album "Switched-on Bach". It was a legitimate game-changing product - it manages to broaden the appeal and basically reinvent commercial viability of electronic music.

"Switched-on Rock" is an album by The Moog Machine, a project created to cash-in on the "Switched-on Bach" popularity. It was formed in 1969 as a blatant cash-in but in the process it evolved into something else. The project was overseen by Norman Dolph, the man behind "Velvet Underground & Nico", and arranged by Alan Foust.

The album consists of moog-flavored covers of various popular rock songs. The catch is that these are not cover versions in a pop music sense of the word. "Switched-on Rock" cover versions are more in the vein of jazz covers where the composition is taken as a foundation for further exploration into a thing of its own.



"Jumping Jack Flash" is one of the most interesting cover versions on an album. Part of its charm is in its abrasive clumsiness. The thing is - Moog synthesizer is not very fitting for replicating pop songs - it is more a exploratory tool than a mimicking gobbledygook. But with a little help of well-tuned Moog Synthesizer and some rabid drums this iconic Rolling Stones tune had morphed from a glorious rock'n'roll stomper into a monstrous ripping roaring Dalek invasion into the Pac Man labyrinths.

In many ways this is a twisted love child of "Switched-on Bach" method and Silver Apples aesthetics. It sounds as a sincere attempt to be user-friendly that backfired and instead petrified the listeners in utter consternation. It is weird.

The Moog Machine version follows closely the original and even replicates the vocal melody in the verses. Even though it sounds horrendous, extremely uncomfortable and absolutely unnecessary. But i guess it was obligatory. Because of that - just pretend it is a sonic succubus trying to annoy you. It works better that way. Oddly enough, the rest of an arrangement sounds almost natural.

Intro is basically a sonic replication of Orpheus descending into depths of hell and bathing in the hyenna lather with a menacing grimace and ominous sound. The song is covered with Moog signature warbling swishes. Combined with cymbal splashes they make an of impression a meteor rain in the middle of an ocean. The drums are trying hard to pretend that this a real song and not a terror attack but they constantly get off the leash and start messing around as if it was some doozy ESP-disk release. It works in the verses but in the choruses the temptation is too much and drums go for a business of its own. The drum patterns in the second verse are something to behold. It is a backbeat for a James Brown Soul Power Break.

The solo is particularly fascinating as it is basically a drama of synthesizer losing it, going out strange, apeshit, batshit and chickenshit in the same time. The solo starts as a replication of the original guitar solo but in the process it gets a panic attack and turns into a ever growing tangled heap of smoothed and smothered zigzag lines. Gradually it turns into a wall of homogeneous noise and then it stops and you are left to think what just happened. I recommend to listen to it separately from an album - just for sake of a silence afterwards.

The irony of this cover is of course in the fact that around the same time Mick Jagger had recorded a soundtrack for Kenneth Anger "Invocation of my Demon Brother" on the Moog synthesizer and it was glorious backwards.

Nevertheless, this particular version of "Jumping Jack Flash" deserves a listen simply because it is so different and in the same time so familiar that it evoke eerie feeling of unease.

https://youtu.be/LU1iGhyEDmg

Bullshit: Chuck Palahniuk - Lullaby book cover

This is a cover for the first edition of Chuck Palahniuk's book "Lullaby". It depicts a bird that is either turned upside down or lying knocked out and painted yellow on a white background. And nothing else because minimalism up yours. The cover perfectly illustrates the plot of book - quest for the book with a killing lullaby. On its own, it is one of those covers that are ambiguous enough to evoke something inherently sarcastic. 

You can go all down with various suggestions over what exactly caused the bird being in that position. In fact - you can construct entire storylines around this images. It is totally worth it.  

The book itself is messy but strangely satisfying pulp comedy of menace. "Lullaby" is probably my favorite Palahniuk. The structure is airtight although it turns out there are many cracks and lots of goo pours out. That is part of the books charm. It got more tone shifts than "On the corner" got time changes and after a while it becomes really tiring. But it moves fast enough to make it mostly passable. For the most part it is just too over the top for its own good. However, the barebones plot structure is quite engaging - you go from one scene to another and things get weird only in a slightest bit which makes it oddly relatable.